All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we’re going to be having a shufti to see if it’s solid, aren’t we, we’re not going to be asking, ‘Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?”
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“I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you’re an idiot.”
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“So–what’s it like, being a vampire?””Aline!” Isabelle looked appalled. “You can’t just go around asking people what’s it like to be a vampire!””I don’t see why,” Aline said. “He hasn’t been a vampire that long, has he? So he must still remember what it was like being a person.” She turned back to Simon. “Does blood taste like blood to you? Or does it taste like something else now, like orange juice or something? Because I would think the taste of blood would-“”It tastes like chicken,” Simon said, just to shut her up.”Really?” Aline looked astonished.”He’s making fun of you, Aline,” said Sebastain”
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“Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.”
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“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy’s Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day’s work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city’s reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”
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“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.”I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.” After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?”I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.”
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“I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.”
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“Just move to the Internet, its great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome.”
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“Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.”
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“Right,” she said, “We’re going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn’t think negative.”
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“When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”
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“Everyone thinks you’ve been kidnapped,” he said. “We’ve been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you’ve been here all night?””Frank!” Annabeth’s ears were as red as strawberries. “We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That’s it.””Kissed a couple of times,” Percy said.Annabeth glared at him. “Not helping!”
“On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,and I have nothing else to do,I sometimes wonder if it’s true That who is what and what is who.” – Winnie-the-Pooh”
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“Well, that’s an evil smile…”
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