All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”
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“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that’s just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it’s a joke.”
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“Almost everything strange washes up near Miami. ”
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“Really, these wizards! You’d think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?” she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet.”I’m dying of boredom,” Howl said pathetically. “Or maybe just dying.”
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“Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all.”
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“Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?Ford: We’re safe.Arthur: Oh good.Ford: We’re in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.”
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“I’ve met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited toschool for Career Day.”
“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit,” Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. “They’ve obviously never met me.”
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“Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry” said Hermione, before catching sight of Ron’s raised eyebrows, blushing slightly and saying “oh you know what I mean – Goyle’s Potion looked like bogies.”
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“You’re Hell’s Angels, then? What chapter are you from?”REVELATIONS. CHAPTER SIX.”
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“We’re not retreating, we’re advancing in reverse.’ –Skulduggery Pleasant”
“Perhaps I can stay by the fire and mend your socks and scream if I hear any strange noises.”
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“I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.”
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“Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck…Attempting harder to give a fuck…Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.”
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