All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, ‘Do trousers matter?'””The mood will pass, sir.”

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient’s friends.”

“We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care.”

“The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.”

“Boys. I’d turn gay if they weren’t so sexy. ”

“Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts”

“Crap, are you thinking what I’m thinking?””I’m thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood,” Claire said. “Is that it?””No, I was thinking we’re out of chips. Of course that’s what I was thinking.”

“Fresh is better. But you’ve never drunk fresh blood. Have you?”Simon raised his eyebrow in response.”Well, aside from mine of course,” Jace said. “And I’m pretty sure my blood is fan-tastic.”

“Have any of you wondered what I did with all the cash Pekka Rollins gave us?””Guns?” asked Jesper.”Ships?” queried Inej.”Bombs?” suggested Wylan. “Political bribes?” offered Nina. They all looked at Matthias. “This is where you tell us how awful we are,” she whispered.”

“It doesn’t matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don’t appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-“”You invented the internet?”It was my idea, Martha said.Rats are delicious, George said.”It was my idea!” Hermes said. “I mean the internet, not the rats. But that’s not the point.”

“You can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn’t a bad mood at all; it’s just your sucky personality.”

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn’t it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.”

“If we’re going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don’t know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of the left, and I don’t want them to die of excitement.”