All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“It called to him, a sweet heady beacon of femininity, fertility, and fuckability. His three favorite f-words.”

“I dodged behind Mac for cover and refused to take the bait. I glanced at my nonexistent watch. ‘Oops, look at the time. Guess I have to be going now. Let’s not do this again sometime, okay?’Before I could move, Pritkin was there, jamming the medallion into the skin of my upper arm.’Ow!’He looked at me expectantly. I glared at him. ‘That hurt!’What do you see?’A big red mark,”

“He looked at the beautiful woman frowning up at him and his cock did nothing. His eyes shot back to Zoe and damn if his cock didn’t twitch happily. Trevor swallowed hard as realization hit.There was something wrong with his dick.”

“At a certain age almost all the questions a person asks him or herself are really just about one thing: how should you live your life?”

“From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short.”

“I don’t ask writers about their work habits. I really don’t care. Joyce Carol Oates says somewhere that when writers ask each other what time they start working and when they finish and how much time they take for lunch, they’re actually trying to find out, “Is he as crazy as I am?” I don’t need that question answered.”

“Jane’s stories are too sensible. Then Diana puts too much murders into hers. She says most of the time she doesn’t know what to do with the people so she kills them off to get rid of them.” -Anne Shirley”

“However, he wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were.” “And so ended his affection,” said Elizabeth impatiently. “There has been many a one, I fancy, overcome in the same way. I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!” “I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love,” said Darcy. “Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.”

“At some point, our lips met and it was perhaps the most wonderful thing I’d ever experienced. And truly, I guess there wasn’t just one kiss, but several. A polite frenzy. A mass migration of delicate wildebeest kisses. I remember them as one transcendent event, though.”

“I don’t understand how I could have believed you were a warm, affectionate, and tenderhearted person! You’re obviously as prickly as a porcupine and any man who comes close to you will end up with a face full of quills!”

“I never want to be apart from you,” he said. “I’m going to buy an island and take you there. A ship will come once a month with supplies. The rest of the time it will be just the two of us, wearing leaves and eating exotic fruit and making love on the beach . . .”You’d start a produce export business and organize a local economy within a month,” she said flatly.Harry groaned as he recognized the truth of it. “God. Why do you tolerate me?”Poppy grinned and slid her arms around his neck. “I like the side benefits,” she told him. “And really, it’s only fair since you tolerate me.”

“I don’t want to be a widow, I don’t want Michael Bayning, and I don’t want you to joke about such things, you tactless clodpole!”As all three of them stared at her openmouthed, Poppy leapt up and stalked away, her hands drawn into fists.Bewildered by the immediate force of her fury—it was like being stung by a butterfly—Harry stared after her dumbly. After a moment, he asked the first coherent thought that came to him. “Did she just say she doesn’t want Bayning?”“Yes,” Win said, a smile hovering on her lips. “That’s what she said. Go after her, Harry.”Every cell in Harry’s body longed to comply. Except that he had the feeling of standing on the edge of a cliff, with one ill-chosen word likely to send him over. He gave Poppy’s sister a desperate glance. “What should I say?”“Be honest with her about your feelings,” Win suggested.A frown settled on Harry’s face as he considered that. “What’s my second option?”

“You know, I never believed in fate until I met you… then I started thinking coincidence didn’t have near so cruel a sense of humor”

“Something about being rejected at Church Camp felt so much more awful than being rejected at school. ”

“The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs.”