All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“But Hazael only said, “I brought you a present.”Liraz took the flower, looked at it, and then a Hazael, expressionless. And then she ate it. She chewed the flower and swallowed it.”Hmm,” said Hazael. “Not the usual response.””Oh, do you give flowers often?””Yes,” he said. He probably did. Hazael had a way of enjoying life in spite of the many restrictions they lived under, being soldiers, and worse, being Misbegotten. “I hope it wasn’t poisonous,” he said lightly.Liraz just shrugged. “There are worse ways to die.”

“Gods don’t like people not doing much work. People who aren’t busy all the time might start to think.”

“In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.”

“Did you get notes for me?””No”, Ronan replied,”I thought you were dead in a ditch.”

“[Ranger] “How’s your mental health?” he asked. “I heard about Soder.”[Stephanie] “I’m rattled.””I have a cure.”Oh, boy.He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “And that wasn’t where I was going. I was going to suggest work.””I knew that.”He looked over at me and grinned. “You want me bad.”I did. God help me.”

“You never get mad,” she said when their server left the table. “Except at me.”“That’s not true,” he said tightly. “Torie can get me going.”“Torie doesn’t count. You were obviously her mother in a previous life.”

“If you get yourself killed, I’ll find your grave and spit on it,” she threatened.”

“. . I tell you Dain is a splendid catch. I advise you to set your hooks and reel him in.”Jessica took a long swallow of her cognac. “This is not a trout, Genevieve. This is a great, hungry shark.”“Then use a harpoon.”

“my good qualities are under your protection, and you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it belongs to me to find occasion for teasing and quarreling with you as often as may be…”

“Jenks enthusiastically leaned against the counter and opened the box. Bypassing the plastic knife, he broke off about a third of it and took a huge bite. Ivy watched, appalled, and I shrugged. His mouth moving as he hummed, Jenks finished unpacking the sacks. I was half dead, Ivy was whoring herself to keep me safe, but Jenks was okay as long as he had chocolate.”

“Kitty need’s a tounge bath”

“Hate. Huh. He’d never hated himself. If anything, he’d always liked himself a little too much. Once, a human female had even accused him of picturing his own face while he climaxed. He hadn’t denied it, either, and next time he’d slept with her, he’d made sure to scream, “Strider” at the pivotal moment.” –Strider, keeper of the demon of Defeat–”

“All you need is not Love, no. All you need is a marvelous sense of humor !”

“How poor are they that have no patients! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?'””Shakespeare isn’t going to save you this time, Superman. Your time’s run out.”He scowled. “Perhaps I should have been studying The Taming of the Shrew!”

“You know,” she said dreamily, passing over his question, “you’re not nearly as handsome as Lord St.Vincent.”“There’s a surprise,” he said dryly.“But for some reason,” she continued, “I never want to kiss him the way I do you.” It was a good thing that she had closed her eyes, for if she had seen his expression, she might not have continued. “There is something about you that makes me feel terribly wicked. You make me want to do shocking things. Maybe it’s because you’re so proper. Your necktie is never crooked, and your shoes are always shiny. And your shirts are so starchy. Sometimes when I look at you, I want to tear off all your buttons. Or set your trousers on fire.”