All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“Where have all the Fembots gone?”
-
“What would Golan Do? That way I can ask myself before I do anything. Before I take a dump. How would Dr. Golan want me to take this dump? Should I bank it off the side or go straight down the middle? What would be the most psychologically beneficial dump I could take?”
-
“Yeah. Floyd is his batman.”His what?”Batman, like in the British army, each officer had a batman, a personal servant.”You spend too much time reading, Spenser. You know more stuff that don’t make you money than anybody I know.”
-
“I never fail. It’s just that the people around me succeed more than I.”
“Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.”
-
“The dead know everything but they don’t give a damn.”
-
“Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.”
-
“Cottage cheese, broken down into its simplest form, is milk that has been curdled to mimic the cellulite its consumption is meant to banish.”
-
“Sorry. I get attacks of quotitis every once in a while. It’s a very rare disease with no cure. It usually attacks older people, and here i am afflicted with it at my tender age.”
-
“If you can’t make ends meet, meet them in the middle instead”
-
“…the Statue of Liberty’s got this invitation: ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your reeking homeless–”Huddled masses,’ said Ira. ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’…Okay, fine. So like everybody in the old countries says, ‘Hey, I’m a huddled mass,’ and they all wanna come over.”
-
“I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby.”
-
“A relationship is likely to last way longer, if each partner convinces or has convinced themselves that they do not deserve their partner, even if that is not true.”
“Tidak ada kabar adalah kabar, yaitu kabar tidak ada kabar. Tidak ada kepastian juga adalah kepastian, yaitu kepastian tidak ada kepastian. Hidup ini juga memang tentang menunggu. Menunggu kita untuk menyadari: kapan kita akan berhenti menunggu.”
-
“I promise I’ll never tell.””Don’t promise that,” he said in an ultraserious voice. “If they try to hurt you and the only way to protect yourself is to tell them what you know about me, then you tell them. Straight off, okay?””No.” “Promise me.””No!””I will possess your heart.”Heat flared along the back of my neck. “What did you say?””My favorite song. ‘I Will Possess Your Heart.'””By Death Cab for Cutie?”He snorted. “No, the little known T.I. Hip-hop remix. Yes, Death Cab for Cutie.”… “Why? What’s wrong with it?””Nothing, but it doesn’t seem to fit you. It’s kind of a sad song.” “No it’s pure confident. It’s not ‘I want’ or ‘I need’, none of that crap.” He slipped his hand over mine. “It’s ‘I will.'”A nervous laugh bubbled up. “You will, huh?”His fingers brushed my cheek, then slid into my hair. “I will.”
-