All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“(Can human beings change? The humor, and the sadness, of remarriage comedies can be said to result from the fact that we have no good answer to that question.)”
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“My friend Madea has “attitude” that comes with wisdom. Back in our teens and twenties, we thought we knew everything and made all those foolish mistakes. Then, when we got a little older, at thirty, we started getting these flashes of light, revelations of what a great and lucky thing it is that we didn’t get caught doing those stupid things back then. Around forty, if we are lucky, we stop lying to ourselves. Fifty and above, we’ve run out of patience for foolishness. Take me to the bottom line.”
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“Can you believe we still around?after so many hit the ground and we ain’t gon’ stop now until we get that wisdom”
“Whatever one does, someone is always happy…then again, someone else is not pleased”
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“We think a wise person is someone who solves problems. Truth is, a wise person is someone who avoids problems.”
“Where else,” I will say, “does an old turtle crossing the path Make all the difference in the world?”
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“Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times higher than their chances of being sincerely happy for at least ten consecutive days.”
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“…the Puritans compressed whatever mirth and public joy they deemed allowable to human infirmity; thereby so far dispelling the customary cloud, that, for the space of a single holiday, they appeared scarcely more grave than most other communities at a period of general affliction.”
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“When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate.”
“A guilty conscience is jealousy’s playground.”
“The face of a truly happy man seldom lacks smiles.”
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“You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”
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“In order to grow, I promise you’ll have to let go of some habits. 10 times out of 10, they’ll be the habits you’re most in love with.”
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“If you’re going to hit a car, try to be sure that it’s not a cop car”