All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. The happiness of a married man depends on the people he has not married. One should always be in love – that’s the reason one should never marry.”

“Don’t be bashful; we’re among gentlemen. It’s a known fact that we men are the missing link between the pirate and the pig.”

“Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you’re trying to show respect.”

“It’s only hard until it becomes easy.”

“And Nedley started saying,’Shut Up!Quit that! And i knew it really meant something to him. So I asked for his help,”Mark said. “Don’t tell the story like that,” Nedley laughed. “What he said was ‘Quit pretendin you’re a bad guy I need your help, and I need it now!”

“Duty has a trick of behaving unexpectedly — something like a heavy friend whom we have amiably asked to visit us, and who breaks his leg within our gates.”

“People as a rule do mean much more than they understand.”

“If life has started strange, perhaps this is the way it should continue.”

“And don’t forget: Elvendork! It’s unisex!”

“Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.”

“And someone, somewhere, was having an even worse time of it than me. I tried to keep that in mind. No matter how crappy your life, someone will probably beat you in the my-life-is-crap category. Not that I don’t let myself whine a little now and then, but sometimes it’s good to keep your misery in perspective”

“To answer your question as honestly as I can, I’ve wanted since I was very little to not have to worry about money. I’ve never been poverty-level poor (I mean, there’s been years where I’ve been officially beneath the poverty line, but that wasn’t poverty: that was being a student and living the Student Lifestyle), but I’ve been in a place where you know you can’t afford a better-quality food, where you can’t do certain things because of money, and I’d prefer not to have those problems if I can. I sort of have troubles with money in general, with how it determines so much of our lives but with how we all try to ignore it, but I would like to be (and stay) in a place where I can pick up some new comics and games and not worry about how much they cost.This is terrible; you’re asking me where I want to be in the future, what I want my life to be like, and the only thing I can tell you is “Man, all I know is I don’t want to be POOR.”

“Every time we start thinking we’re the center of the universe, the universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, ‘I’m sorry. What’d you say your name was again?”

“Balt Van Tassel was an easy indulgent soul; he loved his daughter better even than his pipe, and, like a reasonable man and an excellent father, let her have her way in everything.”

“What is grand is necessarily obscure to weak men. That which can be made explicit to the idiot is not worth my care.”