All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Smartass Disciple: Master, I believe that the truth will prevail at the end.Master of Stupidity: No ‘the end’ for the truth. ‘Prevail’ is something else.”

“Smartass Disciple: What were you thinking when the truth is revealed unto you?Master of Stupidity: I wasn’t thinking. I was having sex when it came to my mind.”

“Vivi muito tempo no mundo das pessoas grandes. Vi-as de bem perto.Não fiquei com muito melhor opinião delas.”

“Math. It’s your favorite subject. Which surprises you. Last year your teacher tried to convince you that you had a real “aptitude” for math, but all you got in the end was a B minus. The truth is you weren’t even trying. But then you got low Cs and Ds in all your other classes and you weren’t trying there, either, so maybe you are good at math after all. You like it because either you’re right or you’re wrong. Not like social studies and definitely not like English, where you always have to explain your answers and support your opinions. With math it’s right or it’s wrong and you’re done with it. But even that’s changing, my teacher said now you have to explain how you solved the problem and support your answer, saying that having the right answer isn’t as important as explaining how you got it and bam, just like that, you hate math.”

“Bizim hepimizin içinde zübüklük olmasa, bizler de birer zübük olmasak, aramızdan böyle zübükler büyüyemezdi. Hepimizde birer parça olan zübüklük birleşip işte başımıza böyle zübükler çıkıyor. Oysa zübüklük bizde, bizim içimizde. Onları biz, kendi zübüklüğümüzden yaratıyoruz. Sonra, kendi zübüklüklerimizin bir tek Zübük’de birleştiğini görünce ona kızıyoruz. Bu zübükler heryerde var, biz zübükler nerde varsak, onlar da orada…”

“Blessed are You God, ruler of the world, Who created man in wisdom and created within him numerous orifices and spaces. It is known and revealed before You that if one of them should open when it should close or one of them should close when it should open, it would be impossible for us to exist. Blessed are You God, Who heals all mankind and does wonders.”

“Your kids pissing you off is an inborn instinct. It’s nature’s way of getting you to kick them out when they turn 18!Okaaay. ~sigh~ Due to the times, you can kick them out between the ages of 28-38. Can someone please dramatically reduce the cost of housing, already?~SHEESH~”

“As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music.”

“Worrying is stupid. It’s like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain.”

“Smartass Disciple: Three years! I’ve listened you preaching just for this silly truth?Master of Stupidity: Who said I was preaching? Who said anything about the truth?”

“Smartass Disciple: How the hell do we find the truth ?Master of Stupidity: Just seek it with hope it’ll find you.”

“A person obsessed with ultimate truth is a person asking to be relieved of money.”

“An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.”

“She was not a Christian in the accepted sense; she did not believe that God had ever worked among us as a young artisan.”

“Humor is the whole truth.”