All Quotes By Tag: Humour

“For any given problem, if there’s a simple solution it will already have been applied. So, perhaps, the solution isn’t as simple as you think.”

“I mean really, how could an artistic individual stay grounded in the nitty-gritty of how many minutes per pound meat has to stay in the oven when trying to fathom the creative philosophy behind the greatest artistic minds of the world?”

“Always blow your own trumpet, blowing someone else’s is unhygienic”

“LORD ILLINGWORTH: The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.MRS ALLONBY: And the body is born young and grows old. That is life’s tragedy.”

“When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.”

“Question everything, unless it’s the answer”

“Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.”

“They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.”

“I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.”

“You can’t always be right, but you can be wrong a lot less”

“No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.”

“It smells terrible in here.’Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I, too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.”

“Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, “You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood.”

“The church has never been asked to explain anything, our speciality, along with ballistics, has always been the neutralisation of the overly curious mind through faith.”

“Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards”