“Because . . . most of us think that the point is something to do with work, or kids, or family, or whatever. But you don’t have any of that. There’s nothing between you and despair, and you don’t seem a very desperate person.’ ‘Too stupid.’ ‘You’re not stupid. So why don’t you ever put your head in the oven?’ ‘I don’t know. There’s always a new Nirvana album to look forward to, or something happening in NYPD Blue to make you want to watch the next episode.’ ‘Exactly.’ ‘That’s the point? NYPD Blue? Jesus.’ It was worse than he thought. ‘No, no. The point is you keep going. You want to. So all the things that make you want to are the point. I don’t know if you even realize it, but on the quiet you don’t think life’s too bad. You love things. Telly. Music. Food.”

“Le Goût du néantMorne esprit, autrefois amoureux de la lutte, L’Espoir, dont l’épéron attisait ton ardeur, Ne veut plus t’enfourcher! Couche-toi sans pudeur, Vieux cheval dont le pied à chaque obstacle bute.Résigne-toi, mon coeur; dors ton sommeil de brute.Esprit vaincu, fourbu! Pour toi, vieux maraudeur, L’amour n’a plus de goût, non plus que la dispute;Adieu donc, chants du cuivre et soupirs de la flûte!Plaisirs, ne tentez plus un coeur sombre et boudeur! Le Printemps adorable a perdu son odeur!Et le Temps m’engloutit minute par minute, Comme la neige immense un corps pris de roideur;Je contemple d’en haut le globe en sa rondeurEt je n’y cherche plus l’abri d’une cahute.Avalance, veux-tu m’emporter dans ta chute?”

“To kill time – an English phrase that still chills me: time can be killed but only by frivolous matters and purposeless activities. No one thinks of suicide as a courageous endeavor to kill time.”

“When I was young I was depressed all the time. But suicide no longer seemed a possibility in my life. At my age there was very little left to kill. It was good to be old, no matter what they said. It was reasonable that a man had to be at least 50 years old before he could write with anything like clarity.”

“The thick baffling blades of false world customs rip off my views and ideas,like breaking every string of my aesthetic thoughts in disdain and jealousy;pain pain enough your tigrine roars before I die.”

“Ah! listen the song of storm from my disturbed soul;and it scatters flower buds into its lonely halls;like every pain needs a dirge,with wreaths that awful the world framed one for me,and gives the time it calls.”

“I not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of suffering”

“There are times when I’m doing QI and I’m going, ‘Ha ha, yeah, yeah,’ and inside I’m going ‘I want to fucking die. I … want … to … fucking … die.'(Source : RHLSTP #18 – @87min32s)”

“I need to ask, are you afraid of spiders?”Nicholas blinked, suddenly caught off guard, “Yes, I’m afraid of spiders.””Were you always?””What are you, a psychiatrist?”Pritam took a breath. He could feel Laine’s eyes on him, appraising his line of questioning.”Is it possible that the trauma of losing your best friend as a child and the trauma of losing your wife as an adult and the trauma of seeing Laine’s husband take his life in front of you just recently…” Pritam shrugged and raised his palms, “You see where I’m going?”Nicholas looked at Laine. She watched back. Her gray eyes missed nothing.”Sure,” agreed Nicholas, standing. “And my sister’s nuts, too, and we both like imagining that little white dogs are big nasty spiders because our daddy died and we never got enough cuddles.””Your father died?” asked Laine. “When?””Who cares?”Pritam sighed. “You must see this from our point of – “”I’d love to!” snapped Nicholas. “I’d love to see it from your point of view, because mine is not that much fun! It’s insane! It’s insane that I see dead people, Pritam! It’s insane that this,” he flicked out the sardonyx necklace,”stopped me from kidnapping a little girl!””That’s what you believe,” Pritam said carefully.”That’s what I fucking believe!” Nicholas stabbed his finger through the air at the dead bird talisman lying slack on the coffee table.”

“If we knew what we are, we should do as Sir Arthur Jermyn did; and Arthur Jermyn soaked himself in oil and set first to his clothing one night.”

“Listen, we’ll come visit you. Okay? I’ll dress up as William Shakespeare, Lucent as Emily Dickinson, and beautiful ‘Ray’ as someone dashing and manly like Jules Verne or Ernest Hemingway…and we’ll write on your white-room walls. We’ll write you out of your supposed insanity. I love you, Micky Affias.-James (from “Descendants of the Eminent”)”

“It’s easier for me to make sense of it that way than it is for me to face the other way—reality. And yet, those evil spirits that were unleashed—be they fake entities from a stupid carnival ride, or cruel malevolencies from dark spiritual chasms of our universe—have stayed with me all these years”

“Life is short enough, there is nothing worth here to take your life, and those things we do gain can never be taken to our grave.”