“Of what use is a philosopher who doesn’t hurt anybody’s feelings?”

“Poverty is a virtue which one can teach oneself.”

“Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards.”

“A philosopher named Aristippus, who had quite willingly sucked up to Dionysus and won himself a spot at his court, saw Diogenes cooking lentils for a meal. “If you would only learn to compliment Dionysus, you wouldn’t have to live on lentils.”Diogenes replied, “But if you would only learn to live on lentils, you wouldn’t have to flatter Dionysus.”

“It is the privilege of the gods to want nothing, and of godlike men to want little.”

“It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.”