“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.”

“I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I’m one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.”

“Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“I’ve been accused of vulgarity. I say that’s bullshit.”