All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I am not mean I am just sarcastically humorous”

“How is something authorised as ‘feng shui compliant’ he wondered. Is there a Chinese Ministry of Magic?”

“I wouldn’t doubt it for a second if any of these literature teachers had a hand-sculpted custom-made replica of Shakespeare’s dick.”

“People can. And do. And do it all the time. Fallibility is a close friend of mine.”

“Your own shortcomings are the best ground to grow your sense of humor.”

“Don’t fret my dear. If art is translation of the ephemeral into observable form, then always remember that it is the translationn that is the craft. The craft is that which can always be improved. But the ephemeral is that which only you have been able to observe, and that which only you have chosen to translate, and so in a way, the ephemeral is you, and it is already beautiful.”

“When craziness mixes with love, happiness, deviants and unicorns—you have to embrace it.”

“Sorry for what? Your appearance? Your character? Wait, I bet it’s your smell. Twenty-four hours of terror, violence, chases, and being for all intents and purposes dead plays havoc with the armpits. Don’t let Lockwood step downwind of you tonight, that’s all I’m saying.”

“If sad, eat cookie. If still sad, talk to doctor. Sounds serious.”

“No cry because cookie is finished. Smile because cookie happened.”

“Can you fail and still be strong, Can you not fit in and accept yourself, Can you lose everything and still keep searching, Can you be in the dark and still believe in the light.”

“Sure, good things come to those who wait—but they’re the leftovers from those who got there first.” Chloe Traeger”

“Sometimes I think, what is friend? And me think, friend someone you give up last cookie for.”

“Keep calm and eat cookies.”

“Home is where heart is. Heart where cookie is. Math clear: Home is cookie.”