“Wherever these boys are finding their denim, I want a lifetime membership to their mailing catalog.”

“Still, I’m drawn to him. Annoyingly drawn. Like a bruised and wayward moth flying into a flickering light bulb.”

“And that, boys and girls, is the story of how stone-cold Annie Mathers found her lady parts.”

“But if I close my eyesAnd wish it all awayPretend I’m someone else,Pretend I’m here to stayGave us half a chance,Let my stupid heart decideThere’s no doubt in my mind, You’d be mine”

“I wrote this song for a boy. A boy I fell in love with against impossible odds. So this award is for you, Jefferson. If I had to choose my favorite, you’d be mine.”

“My pathetic heart couldn’t be clearer on the issue of Jefferson. This song is a confession and a condemnation in one; regretting something that was over before it even began. But I know, I know, it would have been big. It would have been real and true and sappy as hell.”