“The engine roared to life. He ran toward her. She shot our of her parking space. He rushed to the side of her car. “Stop it, Kristy! You’re overreacting! Let’s talk about this.” That was when she did the unthinkable. She rolled down the window, thrust out her hand, and gave Reverend Ethan Bonner the bird.”

“Now, this is where I draw the line! It’s bad enough everybody in town’s going to be thinkin’ I’m sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she’s just about cornered the market on condoms-I don’t know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin’ a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?”

“She threw up her hands. “All right. Why not?” Why not?” Sure.” His arms fell to his sides. “That’s it? I pour my heart out. I love you so much I’ve got freakin’ tears in my eyes. And all I get in return is ‘Why not’?” What did you expect? Am I supposed to fall all over you just because you’ve finally come to your senses?” Would it be too much to ask?”…He’d begun to glare at her again, his eyes growing stormier by the minute.”When do you think you might be ready? To fall all over me, that is.”

“He shook his head. “The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I’m going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.”