“Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets”

“I never understood why when you died, you didn’t just vanish, everything should just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn’t be there. I always thought I’d like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I’d like it to say ‘figment’.”

“Actually, I jade very quickly. Once is usually enough. Either once only, or every day. If you do something once it’s exciting, and if you do it every day it’s exciting. But if you do it, say, twice or just almost every day, it’s not good any more.”

“You have to be willing to get happy about nothing.”

“It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.”

“Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.”

“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.”