All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Caliph Vathek and his dark hordeAre bound for Hell, you won’t be bored!Your faith in me will be restored—Unless this token you find untowardAnd my poor gift you have ignored.”

“I actually like how doctors talk. I like the sound of science. I like how words you don’t understand explain things you can’t understand.”

“If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.”

“Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and… reproduction.”

“Why did Mother ask you to help me rescue Gelsi?” I asked Leif.”She thought I could assist you in some way. Instead, I had tried to-“”Kill me? You can join the ‘I Want to Kill Yelena Guild.’ I hear they have sixmembers in good standing.Valek is president since he had wanted to kill me twice.”–Yelena to Leif”

“He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. ”

“Don’t stop” I tease in a seductive voice. ” Give me more, Ben. Did you read eBooks or…” I run my finger slowly down his chest.”Hardbacks?” He pulls his hands behind his head and a smug look washes over his face. “Oh, they were hardbacks, all right. And I’m not sure if you’re ready for this, but…I have my own TBR pile. You should read it, Fallon. It’s huge””

“Ayame: “Yuki, let’s deepen the bond between us brothers!”Yuki: “Before you can do that I’ll drown you in the deepest part of that lake.”Ayame: “As long as we spend time together.”Yuki: “On second thought, go drown yourself.”

“Dear Non-American Black, when you make the choice to come to America, you become black. Stop arguing. Stop saying I’m Jamaican or I’m Ghanaian. America doesn’t care.”

“This college would probably have the same problem as the last one did.”I frowned, “What’s that?””Homework.”

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.”

“I spilled more times than a glass of milk on a roller coaster.”

“Do you like to slide?” His voice was eager.Stair rails! Did he suspect me? I forced a sigh. “No, Majesty. I’m terrified of heights.””Oh.” His polite tone had returned.”I wish I could enjoy it. This fear of heights is an affliction.”He nodded, a show of sympathy but not much interest. I was losing him.”Especially,” I added, “as I’ve grown taller.”

“I think the very word stalking implies that you’re not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called ‘fluffy harmless observation time’.”

“I’m seven hundred years old, Alexander. I know when something isn’t going to work. You won’t even admit I exist to your parents.” Alec stared at him. “I thought you were three hundred! You’re seven huundred years old?” “Well,” Magnus amended, “eight hundred. But I dont look it. Anyway, you’re missing the point. The point is-” But Alec never found out what the point was because at that moment a dozen more Iblis demons flooded into the square. He felt his jaw drop. “Damn it.” Magnus followed his gaze. the demons were already fanning out into a half circle around them, their yellow eyes glowing. “Way to change the subject, Lightwood.”