All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“No dumb bastard ever won a war by going out and dying for his country. He won it by making some other dumb bastard die for his country.”

“Well? Is it true? Did she?””Did she what?””You know. Fall outta the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down?”

“If you are good life is good.”

“Kira: L, do you knowGods of deathlove apples?L: Damn you, Kira…”

“Hey, Carlos,” the Professor says when he walks in. “How was REACH?””It sucked.””Can you be more specific?” my guardian asks.”It really sucked,” I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word.”

“Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink withrhinestones.”

“In this dirty minded world, you are either someone’s wife or someone’s whore. And if you’re not either people think there is something wrong with you….but there is nothing wrong with me”

“Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. — Dogbert’s Motto”

“Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.”

“Wow. When he started looking back on the war with Kronos as the good old days–that was sad.”

“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!”

“Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?”

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”

“Now Darkstripe,’ Graypaw hissed to Firepaw under his breath, ‘is neither young, nor pretty.”

“Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.”