All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”

“That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.”Pex was unrepentant. “Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us … all those things.”But—buried alive! That’s like in that horror movie. Y’know — the one with all the horror.”I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?”Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.”

“Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.”

“When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you’ve created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?”

“Life’s greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.”

“Don’t blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there’s this new club called civilization and you guys should join.”

“Geez, you guys. I know I’m popular and all, but seriously, you’re a bit too co-dependent for me. I’m going to need you to step away from my personal bubble.” A wispy vine-woman curled ivy tendrils around his arm, and he sliced through them with his dagger. “No! Bad Wraith! No touchie!”

“A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”

“What do you think they’re going to do to us when they find us guilty?” she says after a few minutes of silence have passed.”Honestly?””Does now seem like the time for honesty?”I look at her from the corner of my eye. “I think they’re going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap.”

“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”

“I have to return some videotapes”

“We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.””Scrabble?” He sounds surprised. “Scrabble’s great.””Not when you’re playing with a family of geniuses, it’s not. They all put words like ‘iridiums’. And I put ‘pig’.”

“Mary-Lynnette: “You have not read ‘Pride and Prejudice’.”Ash: “Why not?”Mary-Lynnette: “Because Jane Austen was a human.”Ash: “How do you know?”Mary-Lynnette: “Well Jane Austen was a woman, and you’re a chauvinist pig.”Ash: “Yes, well, that I can’t argue.”

“You’re an investigator – can’t nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y’all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.”

“A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.”