All Quotes By Tag: Maxride

“Listen, street punk. You’re a guy, and you’re a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you’re in a gang. But I’ve survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand?”

“I stood my ground. “You evil scientist are all the same–evil. Count me out.”Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I’d already made a huge enemy.Dang, I’m good.”

“Who, last time I’d checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It’s kind of sad.)”

“Some kids get called ‘bundles of joy’ or ‘slices of heaven’ or ‘dreams come true.’ We got ‘the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.’ Doesn’t have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I’m oversensitive.”

“So the first thing we’re gonna do,” I told him, “is push you off the roof.”

“I didn’t know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long.” -Nudge”

“I want to do it too!” (sitting motionless)Nudge: “Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church.”Max: (muttering) “Appropriately enough.”Iggy: “What about me?” (stands still)Max: “No, you’re visible.”Iggy: “Am not!”Max: (throws a pinecone at him) “Could I do that if I wouldn’t see you?”

“Well, that’s an evil smile…”

“Q: You’er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?A: Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw one hand to the top, try to hang on long enough for a comrade to either grab your hand at the top or for another comrade to push your butt up from below. It takes team work!BKA (bird kid answer): Or you could just, like, fly over it.”

“That was the funniest thing I’d heard in days.You’re kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than ‘fair is fair.’ Life isn’t FAIR, Dean….Nothing is fair, EVER. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, ‘I need you to help me so I won’t rip out your spine and beat you with it.’ I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE.”

“What happened to your tan?”–Fang”It was dirt.” –Max”

“You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.”

“He could totally be your boyfriend,” [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. “You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.””I’m only a kid!” I shrieked. “I can’t get married!””You could in New Hampshire.”My mouth dropped open. How does she know this stuff? “Forget it! No one’s getting married!” I hissed. “Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep, before I kill you!”