“From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back.”

“The best consolation in misfortune or affliction of any kind will be the thought of other people who are in a still worse plight than yourself; and this is a form of consolation open to every one. But what an awful fate this means for mankind as a whole! We are like lambs in a field, disporting themselves under the eye of the butcher, who chooses out first one and then another for his prey.”

“When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, ‘Cheer up, things could be worse.’ And sure enough, they get worse.”

“I’m not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare who says that it’s always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”

“If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.”

“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down”

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

“I can’t seem to be a pessimist long enough to overlook the possibility of things being overwhelmingly good.”

“If children were brought into the world by an act of pure reason alone, would the human race continue to exist? Would not a man rather have so much sympathy with the coming generation as to spare it the burden of existence, or at any rate not take it upon himself to impose that burden upon it in cold blood?”

“You know how both life and porno movies end. The only difference is life starts with the orgasm.”

“I wish to weepbut sorrow isstupid.I wish to believebut belief is agraveyard.”