Quotes By Author: meg cabot

“And you can’t have two stars in one relationship. Somebody has to be willing to be the wagon…at lease some of the time”

“You’ll blow up a helicopter, but you won’t go out with me? What is wrong with you?”

“I realized Michael was right. I mean, I am always writing in this journal. And I do compose a lot of poetry, and write a lot of notes and emails and stuff. I mean, I feel like I am always writing. I do it so much, I never even thought about it as a talent. It’s just something I do all the time, like breathing.”

“It’s what’s known as an origin myth. What happened to me? That’s no myth.”

“KM: Yes. Mrs. Lopez, she’s human. And you know, clearly, she’d like people to show some appreciation for her hard work. But if people just, you know, take her pie and don’t even say, “Hey, nice pie,” they just scarf it down or whatever-MH: I could see how that would get to be annoying. I mean, if you’re constantly providing…pie. And getting no positive feedback-KM: Right! And what about your future? I mean, how do you know people are still going to want your pie in the future? Supposing they become a famous rock star or something. People are going to be offering them pie all over the place. If they haven’t promised only to eat your pie, well, where does that leave you?”

“Did you let him know that if he can’t see fit to return your blow job immediately, you will have no choice but to sue?”

“I’ve never even been to Long Island”

“The fact is, I love him. He’s the boy I want and one day he’ll be MINE.”

“Also, I think I felt something come loose back there. I’m not trying to overreact or anything but I think it was my uterus. Honest. I think my uterus jiggled free. My uterus is just going to come out between my legs and I’m going to look like I’m walking around with an enormous load in my pants.”

“And try to remember what we discussed, Susannah. A mediator is someone who helps others resolve conflicts. Not someone who, er, kicks them in the face.”

“I loved you way before you ever had a chance to put a spell on me. I loved you at ‘I’ve never been to Long Island,'” Zach said.I couldn’t keep a big goofy grin from my face.I loved you at ‘I like seals,'” I admitted. He grinned back.”

“Michael has never cried during a Broadway show. Except in that scene where Tarzan’s ape father is brutally murdered.And that was only because he was laughing so hard.”

“However, because they have no actual interests of their own (or if they do, they squelch them in order to fit in) and merely pursue those that they think will look best on their college apps, they’re zombies.”

“This was very exciting. I’d never had two boys get into a fight over me before. The fact that one of the boys was my stepbrother, however, and held about as much romantic appeal for me as Max, the family dog, somewhat dampened my enthusiasm. And Michael wasn’t much of a catch, either, when you actually thought about it, being a potential murderer and all. Oh, why did I have to have such a couple of losers fighting over me? Why couldn’t Matt Damon and Ben Affleck fight over me? Now that would be truly excellent.”

“And in what fairy tale would John ever be any sane person’s idea of Prince Charming anyway? He was the opposite of charming. More like Prince Terrifying.”