All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“You sound so reasonable for a man who’s been jilted. Can’t you sound a bit angry? You just lost the best sex of your life. Punch a wall or something!”

“With humor one can live even without hope.”

“Gabrielle chuckled, her dark eyes twinkling. “So he’s been after you, has he? Poor Etta, pursued by a sun priest offering to pleasure—” “Every nook and cranny,” Marietta interrupted dryly and Gabrielle tipped her head back with a throaty laugh.”

“She’s as plastic as you are! I’m telling you, it’s a bad idea. If the two of you have kids, they’ll come out of the birth canal with Fisherprice stamped on their butts!”

“I undid the wrappings with great curiosity, for Holmes did not normally give gifts. I opened the dark velvet jewller’s box and found inside a shiny new set of picklocks, a younger version of his own. “Holmes, ever the romantic. Mrs. Hudson would be pleased.”

“You’re apologizing? Seriously, what happened to you? Have you been taken over by a pod person?”

“KM: Yes. Mrs. Lopez, she’s human. And you know, clearly, she’d like people to show some appreciation for her hard work. But if people just, you know, take her pie and don’t even say, “Hey, nice pie,” they just scarf it down or whatever-MH: I could see how that would get to be annoying. I mean, if you’re constantly providing…pie. And getting no positive feedback-KM: Right! And what about your future? I mean, how do you know people are still going to want your pie in the future? Supposing they become a famous rock star or something. People are going to be offering them pie all over the place. If they haven’t promised only to eat your pie, well, where does that leave you?”

“Never let other people bring you down let Jesus be the one who brings you down, because he knows what he is doing”

“Trust me,’ he says with a touch of impatience.‘Stop asking me to do that,’ I say, equally as impatiently.”

“What have you done with Hetty?” he demanded.”Listened to her incessant prattle, complaints, tears, demands, artless conversation and recriminations for more than twenty-four hours. You will be pleased to know I didn’t touch her—if I had I would have throttled her. Take her away, if you please. I’d rather spend the rest of my life a pauper than have to spend even another day with the divine Miss Chippie.”

“While he’d been tentatively considering a possible romantic relationship with her, she’d fallen in love with him.He could barely speak. “Why didn’t you tell me?”Mason snorted. “Yeah, that’s right. Do you like Maira, check yes or no. Come on. You’re almost thirty, you’re old enough to go after what you want.”

“I can think of only one good solution to this dilemma,” Diego said, having spent the entire night developing a plan.You sneak into the school and carry her off?” Gaspar quipped.That is the not-so-good solution. And it would be very difficult to sneak into a house full of women without raising an alarm.”A cloud descended on Gaspar’s brow. “I was not serious. Kidnapping is not a choice.”

“It was now twenty minutes past four in the morning, allowing for the fact that the clock in the library of his town house was four minutes slow, as it had been for as far back as he could remember.He eyed it with a frown of concentration. Now that he came to think about it, he must have it set right one of these days.Why should a clock be forced to go throught its entire existence four minutes behind the rest of the world? It was not logical.The trouble was though, that if the clock were suddenly right, he would be forever confused and arriving four minutes early — or did he mena late? — for meals and various other appointments. That would agitate his servants and cause consternation in the kitchen.It was probably better to leave the clock as it was.”

“I want to take ye to bed. In my bed. And I mean to spend the rest of the day thinking what to do wit ye once I got ye there. So wee Archie can just go and play at marbles with his bollucks, aye?”

“Gwen: It’s not going to work.Paul: Pardon me?Gwen: Cinderella’s not going to sleep with you because you’re taking the ugly stepsister to the ball. She’ll still make you wait.”