All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“In the deepest, darkest depths of her heart where she kept all her dreams locked up in a pink journal decorated with ponies and unicorns, she’d fantasized about declaring her love for Sasha Karimi for two years. In those scenarios, he generally fell to his knees in thrilled delight before he reciprocated the feelings and then they got married and had lots of babies and maybe a pet iguana and lived happily ever after.”

“Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?”

“Ethan: “Abstaining definitely doesn’t work.”Beth: “what do you suggest?”Ethan: “We’re obviously going to have to make love often, but keep the encounters from getting too intense.” He sounded perfectly serious, like he really believed what he was saying.”

“Can you…make it different this time?”“Different, how?”“Different position, different…something. I want to learn it all.”Whoa, pressure. When Maira’s genius brain wanted to learn something, she really applied herself.”

“(Rude Scrabble)You played this game with your parents?” he asked skeptically.Yep. And Mom always won, the dirty bitch. I guess being older she’d been around more than me and Carrie,” Sophie said, extracting replacement tiles from the box. “Although I don’t know what Dad’s excuse was. lack of imagination, I guess. Your turn.”

“One of the best lovers in Hollywood. What would a title like that encompass exactly? she wondered. Technique? Enthusiasm? Or was it more about equipment?”

“What exactly did having needs mean, while he was on the subject? That Delaney needed to have sex? that she craved an orgasm? And if that were the case, why couldn’t she just take care of the matter on her won in the privacy of her home without putting him through all this torture? Anything was preferable to the thought of her being with Jake.”

“What the hell was going on, why did I care, and why, oh why, did I not carry a pocket rocket in my purse? My girlie bits were still on fire, screaming for release after Mr. Sex God’s orgasmic touch.”

“She’d rather make love to him then watch any movie. “We don’t have to. Did I do something wrong?”That made him turn to her. “Of course not.”“Oh. Then don’t you want to…” She trailed off, a blush rising.“Are you kidding me? More than anything.” His expression softened. “But, Maira, I don’t want to rush you, make you do something you aren’t ready for.”She stared at him. He was so pretty. Was he also stone-cold stupid?How could he think she wasn’t ready for it? She’d already thrown herself at him. Twice now, if he counted the kitchen disaster.”

“I, the great and powerful D.S. will create a harem for all the women in the world!!!! For a woman, no greater joy exists in the entire universe than to fuck me, the ultimate sex symbol!!!”

“The northern star changes its position every ten thousand years, but friendships can last for all eternity.— RJPeters”

“A punching bag. The guy was pounding on a punching bag. That realization took about a nanosecond to register in her brain before the real important information came to the forefront: LoriSue, God bless her slutty little soul, had been absolutely correct. He was male-stripper material, and he’d been thoughtful enough to strip to a pair of athletic shorts on his very first night in the neighborhood.”

“But if there was hope, it lay in the proles. You had to cling on to that. When you put it in words it sounded reasonable: it was when you looked at the human beings passing you on the pavement that it became an act of faith.”

“GET IN” he says, getting in on the driver side. I get in with no questions. Okay. This is a bad movie waiting to happen-I’m getting in a car with a guy I just met today who is keeping secrets from me. What the hell is wrong with me? I’m too scared to speak or ask or run away, though. So I just get in and put on my seat belt. I am so stupid.”

“Humor is the salvation of those without hope.”