“Clary made fun of him about his new look; but, then, Clary found everything about Simon’s love life borderline hilarious.”

“If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I’ll let you know,” Simon was getting fed up. “Look, did you actually ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I’m something in a petrie dish? Next time I’ll send you a photo.””And I’ll frame it and put it on my nightstand,” Jace said, but he didn’t sound as if his heart was in the sarcasm. “Look, I asked you here for a reason, not to stare at you. Much as I hate to admit it, vampire, we have something in common.””Totally awesome hair?” Simon suggested”

“Bitten? You mean you’re a-“”A werewolf,” said the girl. “Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole’s sister.”

“We?” Simon looked at him in disbelief. “Are you ever going home?””What, bored with my company already?” “Let me ask you something,” Simon said. “Do you find me fascinating to be around?””What was that?” Jace said. “Sorry, I think I fell asleep for a moment. Do, continue with whatever mesmerizing thing you were saying.”

“Izzy, are you—” he began. His eyes flew wide, and he backed up fast enough to smack his head into the wall behind him. “What is he doing here?”Isabelle tugged her tank top back down and glared at her brother. “You don’t knock now?”“It—It’s my bedroom!” Alec spluttered. He seemed to be deliberately trying not to look at Izzy and Simon, who were indeed in a very compromising position. Simon rolled quickly off Isabelle, who sat up, brushing herself off as if for lint. Simon sat up more slowly, trying to hold the torn edges of his shirt together. “Why are all my clothes on the floor?” Alec said.“I was trying to find something for Simon to wear,” Isabelle explained. “Maureen put him in leather pants and a puffy shirt because he was being her romance-novel slave.”“He was being her what?”“Her romance-novel slave,” Isabelle repeated, as if Alec were being particularly dense.Alec shook his head as if he were having a bad dream. “You know what? Don’t explain. Just—put your clothes on, both of you.”

“Is this one of those keep-your-friends-close-and-your-enemies-closer things?””I though it was keep your friends close so you have someone to drive the car when you sneak over to your enemy’s house at night and throw up in his mailbox.”

“Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever””Actually,” Simon said, raising his hand,”I can”.Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn’t working.”

“People aren’t born good or bad. Maybe they’re born with tendencies either way, but it’s the way you live your life that matters. And the people you know. Valentine was Hodge’s friend, and I don’t think Hodge really had anyone else in his life to challenge him or make him be a better person. If I’d had that life, I don’t know how I would have turned out. But I didn’t. I have my family. And I have you.”

“So it’s true what they say about warlocks, then?”Alec gave him a very unpleasant look. “What’s true?””Alexander,” said Magnus coldly, and Clary met Simon’s eyes across the table. Hers were wide, green, and full of an expression that said Uh-oh. “You can’t be rude to everyone who talks to me.”Alec made a wide, sweeping gesture. “And why not? Cramping your style, am I? I mean, maybe you were hoping to flirt with werewolf boy here. He’s pretty attractive, if you like the messy-haired, broad-shouldered, chiseled-good-looks type.””Hey, now,” said Jordan mildly. Magnus put his head in his hands. “Or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways, Is there anything you aren’t into?””Mermaids,” said Magnus into his fingers. “They always smell like seaweed.””It’s not funny,” Alec said savagely, and kicking back his chair, he got up from the table and stalked off into the crowd.”

“So–what’s it like, being a vampire?””Aline!” Isabelle looked appalled. “You can’t just go around asking people what’s it like to be a vampire!””I don’t see why,” Aline said. “He hasn’t been a vampire that long, has he? So he must still remember what it was like being a person.” She turned back to Simon. “Does blood taste like blood to you? Or does it taste like something else now, like orange juice or something? Because I would think the taste of blood would-“”It tastes like chicken,” Simon said, just to shut her up.”Really?” Aline looked astonished.”He’s making fun of you, Aline,” said Sebastain”

“Isabelle snorted, “All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon.””You noticed,” said Simon. “I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,” added Magnus. “Please never say those words in front of my parents,” said Alec.”

“Look on the bright side,” said Simon, “If they need a human sacrifice, you can always offer me. I’m not sure the rest of you qualify anyway.”

“Where’s Simon?” Clary interrupted.Isabelle wobbled. “He’s a rat,” she said darkly.Did he do something to you?” Alec was full of brotherly concern. “Did he touch you? If he tried anything-“No, Alec,” Isabelle said irritably. “Not like that. He’s a rat.”She’s drunk,” said Jace, beginning to turn away in disgust.I’m not,” Isabelle said indignantly. “Well, maybe a little, but that’s not the point. The point is, Simon drank one of those blue drinks- I told him not to, but he didn’t listen- and he turned into a rat.”

“You look lousy,’ he said. Jace blinked. ‘Seems an odd time to start an insult contest, but if you insist, I could probably think up something good.”No I mean it. You don’t look good.”This is from a guy ho has all the sex appeal of a penguin. Look, I realize you may be jealous that the good Lord didn’t deal you the same chiseled hand he dealt me, but that’s no reason to-‘ ‘I am not trying to insult you.’ Simon snapped.”

“Also, I’m sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know.”