All Quotes By Tag: Grief

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

“What if it’s as simple as one moment? One tiny thing, like that kiss on the rocks? What if I’d kissed him a little longer? Would he be alive right now? Or what if I’d stayed with him Friday night, what if I’d been with him… wherever he was?”

“My True Love Hath My Heart and I Have HisNone ever was in love with me but grief.She wooed me from the day that I was born;She stole my playthings first, the jealous thief,And left me there forlorn.The birds that in my garden would have sung,She scared away with her unending moan;She slew my lovers too when I was young,And left me there alone.Grief, I have cursed thee often—now at lastTo hate thy name I am no longer free;Caught in thy bony arms and prisoned fast,I love no love but thee.”

“…do you actually think that how long a person grieves is a measure of how much they loved someone?”

“I don’t say goodbye very easily, Anna. Not gracefully or prettily.Goodbye tears your heart out and leaves it a feast for carrion birds who happen by.”

“Conner hadn’t liked leaving the gravesite with his father still not buried. But he’d learned from his grandmother’s funeral that you have to go. It’s expected. Nobody hangs around the cemetary. Grief—a little or a lot—is tucked into your pocket and carried away.”

“I’ve grieved enough for his life cut short and for mine for running on for so long with so little in it. It’s weakness now, but I suppose I am crying out of a general sense of loss. Maybe I am mourning for the human condition.”

“Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand. Unless, of course, you can literally believe all that stuff about family reunions ‘on the further shore,’ pictured in entirely earthly terms. But that is all unscriptural, all out of bad hymns and lithographs. There’s not a word of it in the Bible. And it rings false. We know it couldn’t be like that. Reality never repeats. The exact same thing is never taken away and given back. How well the Spiritualists bait their hook! ‘Things on this side are not so different after all.’ There are cigars in Heaven. For that is what we should all like. The happy past restored.”

“Yet the story of Orpheus, it occurs to me, is not just about the desire of the living to resuscitate the dead but about the ways in which the dead drag us along into their shadowy realm because we cannot let them go. So we follow them into the Underworld, descending, descending, until one day we turn and make our way back.”

“Just remember, what the French say. No, probably not the French, they’ve got a president or something. The Brits, maybe, or the Swedes. You know what I mean?””No, Matthew. What do they say?””The king is dead, that’s what they say. The king is dead. Long live the king.”

“When a husband loses his wife, they call him a widower. When a wife loses her husband, they call her a widow. And when somebody’s parents die, they call them an orphan. But there is no name for a parent, a grieving mother, or a devastated father who have lost their child. Because the pain behind the loss is so immeasurable and unbearable, that it cannot be described in a single word. It just cannot be described.”

“If a mother is mourning not for what she has lost but for what her dead child has lost, it is a comfort to believe that the child has not lost the end for which it was created. And it is a comfort to believe that she herself, in losing her chief or only natural happiness, has not lost a greater thing, that she may still hope to “glorify God and enjoy Him forever.” A comfort to the God-aimed, eternal spirit within her. But not to her motherhood. The specifically maternal happiness must be written off. Never, in any place or time, will she have her son on her knees, or bathe him, or tell him a story, or plan for his future, or see her grandchild.”

“I wished that my own bones were unbound, I wished they were mingling, picked clean by fish, with the bones of another body, a body my bones and heart and soul had loved with unfathomable certainty for decades, and both of us down deep now, lost to everything but the fact of bare bones on a dark seabed.”

“Kate lost a mother,” I said, “but I lost a nothing.”Kate doesn’t feel that way,” Jack assured me.But what about everybody else besides Kate? How can I ever explain to anyone what she was when she and I had no name? People need names for everything. I wasn’t a relative or a friend, I was just an object of her kindness.”He wiped my cheeks, saying Ssshh. I buried my face in his shoulder.True kindness is stabilizing,” I went on. “When you feel it and when you express it, it becomes the whole meaning of things. Like all there is to achieve. It’s life, demystified. A place out of self, a network of simple pleasures, not a waltz, but like whirls within a waltz.”You’re the one now,” Jack said definitively. “That’s why you met her. She had something she had to pass on.” (p. 95)”

“You haven’t lost Iraki, you know. I don’t know if it helps to say that. I lost a friend once myself, and I know how it goes.’He’ll find his way inside you, and you’ll carry him onward. Behind your heartbeat, you’ll hear another one, faint and out of step. People will say you are speaking his opinions, or your hair has turned like his.’There are no more facts about him, that part is over. Now is the time for essential things. You’ll see visions of him wherever you go. You’ll see his eyes so moist, his intentions so blinding, you’ll think he is more alive than you. You will look around and wonder if it was you who died.’Gradually you’ll grow older than him, and love him as your son. ‘In the future, you’ll live astride the line separating life from death. You’ll become experienced in the wisdom of grief. You won’t wait until people die to grieve for them. You’ll give them their grief while they are still alive, for then judgement falls away, and there remains only the miracle of being.’ ”