All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.”

“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.”

“Even now, despite Angeline’s watchfulness, she’d occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd’s pie wasn’t a pie at all and why it was pointless for her to take class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us.”

“…well just call me Hannibal Lecter. With cleavage.”

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”

“I rode an elevator with a guy who was whistling the tune of ‘this is the song that never ends’. Putting that on me? Come on dude..”

“You should be home sleeping. What is the use of having a man in the house, if he cannot take care of you for a while?” “Mmm,” I said. “I give up. What’s the use of having a man in the house?”

“I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story.”

“Want coffee?” I asked, as I headed that way.”It’s three thirty in the morning.””Okay. Want coffee?”

“Just as I had long suspected, a person didn’t really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.”

“Bluestar blinked. “There are cats who would argue that there should never have been a fifth Clan in the forest at all. Why are there four oaks at Fourtrees, if not to stand for the four Clans?”Firestar gazed up at the massive oak trees, then back at Bluestar. Fury pure as a lighting flash rushed through his body. “Are you mouse-brained?” he snarled. “Are you telling me SkyClan had to leave because there weren’t enough trees?”

“This is the fast lane, folks…and some of us like it here.”

“Plans are invitation to disappointment.”

“A whizzpopper!” cried the BFG, beaming at her. “Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry, you can’t have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that’s never going to happen again.”