All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it”

“I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story.”

“Frank stared at her. “But you throw Ding Dongs at monsters.”Iris looked horrified. “Oh, they’re not Ding Dongs.”She rummaged under the counter and brought out a package of chocolate covered cakes that looked exactly like Ding Dongs. “These are gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations.””All natural!” Fleecy chimed in.”I stand corrected.” Frank suddenly felt as queasy as Percy.”

“What’s that?””That’s my attack poodle.”

“If you ever put a student at this school in danger again-”Oh, I thought you Gallagher Girls were immune to danger.’Despite the hundred girls the filled the foyer, no one moved or gasped or tried to defend our honor. We stood silently, waiting for our headmistress to say, ‘Oh, we are quite used to being underestimated, Agent Townsend. In fact, we welcome it.”

“I’d heard you were dead.””I heard you wear a red lace corset,” I said matter-of-factly. “But I don’t believe every bit of nonsense that gets rumored about.”

“It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive.”

“We’re on a planet, relax!”

“All men have their frailties; and whoever looks for a friend without imperfections, will never find what he seeks.”

“You thought I was a werewolf?” Dervish asks.”Yes” I answer hollowly.”You ass.”

“All of those faeries and duels and mad queens and so on, and no one quoted old Billy Shakespeare. Not even once.”

“It’d Be a Lot Cooler If You Did.”

“Garrick was panting when he replied, “You’re not forcing me to do anything. I just want you to be sure. You can say stop at anytime.” His lips pulled wide. “You don’t need to make up a new pet.”

“I’m your friend, and friends don’t let friends die.”

“I’m a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”