All Quotes By Tag: Humorous
“Błogosławiony ten, co nie mając nic do powiedzenia, nie obleka tego faktu w słowa.”
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“Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she’d been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain – so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn’t, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.”
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“It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.”
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“You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.”
“Your own shortcomings are the best ground to grow your sense of humor.”
“I’m dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam’s apple.”
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“Man be merciful, for your Maker is merciful.”
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“There is little more I can add short of dissecting the man, or going into intimate details such as the modest proportions and slight southeasterly curvature of his manhood.”
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“More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.”
“Most human beings would have never been pained by the death of a human being if they had never seen a human being or pretending to be pained by that.”
“For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.”
“The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only person who someone is sleeping with does not necessarily mean that he or she loves you.”
“We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.”
“Some people will hate you for not loving them.”
“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or has only one hand.”