All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“It looks as though your shop is doing well,” Luka said gazing around, “Could you help me find a gift for a lady friend of mine?”My heart plunged to my grenn satin slippers, and I had to stare down at Azarte for a minute, petting him hard. Naturally Luka had a “lady friend.” She was probably nobly born: the daughter of a count or a duke. I imagined her having thick dark hair and clear skin, and was bitterly jealous. “Of course,” I stammered after a time. “What would she like? A gown? A sash?” If she came in for a fitting, I decided to “accidentlly” poke her with every pin.”

“Arianne had her feet up on the table, wearing a striped conductor’s cap.Arriane was fixated on the game. A chocolate cigar bobbed between her lips as she contemplated her next move. Roland was giving Arianne the hawk eye.”Checkmate, bitch,” Arianne said triumphantly, knocking over Roland’s king.”

“TANDAAN: mahirap mafriendzone, pero madali lang gumanti!”

“That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!”

“Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.”

“Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that’s both is dental.”

“Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn’t hurt the untroubled spirit either.”

“Razo hopped back up and adopted a posture that said he was completely unruffled, never had been, and in fact was ready to do something manly like lift boulders or swallow live worms.”

“Women don’t want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.”

“I’d never met coffee that wasn’t wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.”

“Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.) ”

“Rock ‘n’ roll is not red carpets and MySpace friends, rock’n’roll is dangerous and should piss people off”

“I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!”

“Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.”

“Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.”