All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Haven’t you ever heard of the saying, “If you want to shoot the general, first shoot the horse!”?’ –LinIf you wanna shoot the general, then you should just SHOOT THE GENERAL!’ –Ed”

“No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.”

“If you didn’t grow up like I did then you don’t know, and if you don’t know it’s probably better you don’t judge.”

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.”

“For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but eventually, I had to give it up. Throughout the next twenty-two years I lay still and discovered that after a few minutes I could drop off with no problem. Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it’s funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own. Often I never even made it to the bed. I’d squat down to pet the cat and wake up on the floor eight hours later, having lost a perfectly good excuse to change my clothes. I’m now told that this is not called “going to sleep” but rather “passing out,” a phrase that carries a distinct hint of judgment.”

“I might have known,” said Eeyore. “After all, one can’t complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said ‘Bother!’. The Social Round. Always something going on.”

“Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?’ ‘To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.’ ‘The dog did nothing in the night-time.”That was the curious incident,’ remarked Sherlock Holmes.”

“The sign was spray-painted in Arabic and English, probably from some attempt by the farmer to sell his wares in the market. The English read: Dates-best price. Cold Bebsi. “Bebsi?” I asked.”Pepsi,” Walt said. “I read about it on the Internet. There’s no ‘p’ in Arabic. Everyone here calls the soda Bebsi.””So you have to have Bebsi with your bizza?””Brobably.”

“When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.”

“What was that?” Belgarath asked, coming back around the corner.”Brill,” Silk replied blandly, pulling his Murgo robe back on.”Again?” Belgarath demanded with exasperation. “What was he doing this time?””Trying to fly, last time I saw him.” Silk smirked.The old man looked puzzled.”He wasn’t doing it very well,” Silk added.Belgarath shrugged. “Maybe it’ll come to him in time.””He doesn’t really have all that much time.” Silk glanced out over the edge.”From far below – terribly far below – there came a faint, muffled crash; then, after several seconds, another. “Does bouncing count?” Silk asked.Belgarath made a wry face. “Not really.””Then I’d say he didn’t learn in time.” Silk said blithely.”

“Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.No hope, no harm; just another false alarm”

“When someone tells you somebody’s been murdered, laughing is probably not the best response. You know, for future reference.But laughing is exactly what I did.”

“The train is roaring toward you and the villain is twirling his moustache and you’re fussing that he’s tied you to the tracks with the wrong kind of rope.”

“Adventures are never fun while you’re having them.”

“Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.”