All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“I love to sleep. Do you? Isn’t it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.”

“Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.”

“If we’re going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don’t know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of the left, and I don’t want them to die of excitement.”

“I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons.” – Greg Heffley,”

“If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn’t rub out even half the “Fuck you” signs in the world. It’s impossible.”

“If you aren’t cute, you may as well be clever.”

“I didn’t know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.”

“Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising.”

“You’re only a man! You’ve not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!”

“There are never enough ‘I love you’s.”

“The Death Eaters can’t all be pure-blood, there aren’t enough pure-blood wizards left,” said Hermione stubbornly. “I expect most of them are half-bloods pretending to be pure. It’s only Muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite happy to let you and Ron join up” “There is no way they’d let me be a Death Eater!” said Ron indignantly….”My whole family are blood traitors! That’s as bad as Muggle-borns to Death Eaters!” “And they’d love to have me,” said Harry sarcastically. “We’d be best pals if they didn’t keep trying to do me in.”

“Brevity is the soul of lingerie.”

“Once I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: “No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.”

“Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.”

“Being a detective isn’t all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant…The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”