All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Once I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: “No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.”

“Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.”

“Vote for the man who promises least; he’ll be the least disappointing.”

“Mythologically speaking, if there’s anything I hate worse than trios of old ladies, it’s bulls. Last summer, I fought the Minotaur on top of Half-Blood Hill. This time what I saw up there was even worse: two bulls. And not just regular bulls – bronze ones the size of elephants. And even that wasn’t bad enough. Naturally they had to breathe fire, too.”

“Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion… perhaps around their necks? And maybe — dare I dream it? — maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.”

“A great nose may be an indexOf a great soul”

“Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren’t missionaries.”I opened my eyes wide. “No? Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them. They’d be crushed. Thinking they’re doing the Lord’s work and all.”

“Someday I must read this scholar Everyone. He seems to have written so much–all of it wrong.”

“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.”

“We are not going to die.” Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. “We’re not?” “No. And do you know why?” He shook his head. “Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I’m too stubborn to die.” I hauled on the shirt even harder. “And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.”

“We could visit him,” suggests Will. “But what would we say? ‘I didn’t know you that well, but I’m sorry you got stabbed in the eye’?”

“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”

“Hermione launched herself forwards and started punching every inch of him that she could reach.’Ouch — ow — gerroff! What the — ? Hermione — OW!’“You — complete — arse — Ronald — Weasley!”She punctuated every word with a blow: Ron backed away, shielding his head as Hermione advanced.”

“Do you think it’s possible for an entire nation to be insane?”

“You sneaked into my cabin?”Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Percy, you’ll be seventeen in two months. You can’t seriously be worried about getting in trouble with Coach Hedge.”“Uh, have you seen his baseball bat?”“Besides, Seaweed Brain, I just thought we could take a walk. We haven’t had any time to be together alone. I want to show you something—my favorite place aboard the ship.”Percy’s pulse was still in overdrive, but it wasn’t from fear of getting in trouble. “Can I, you know, brush my teeth first?”“You’d better,” Annabeth said. “Because I’m not kissing you until you do. And brush your hair while you’re at it.”