All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“An Unbreakable Vow?” said Ron, looking stunned. “Nah, he can’t have…. Are you sure?””Yes I’m sure,” said Harry. “Why, what does it mean?””Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…””I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.”
“Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation!”
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
“Animals are my friends…and I don’t eat my friends.”
“Jace shook his blond head in exasperation. “You had to make a crazy jail friend, didn’t you? You couldn’t just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?”
“The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.”
“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”
“My rapier wit hides my inner pain.”
“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on TheeAnd I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me.”
“Headline?” he asked.”‘Swing Set Needs Home,'” I said.”‘Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'” he said.”‘Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'” I said.”
“Black holes are where God divided by zero.”
“I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”
“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
“I’m going to wake Peeta,” I say.”No, wait,” says Finnick. “Let’s do it together. Put our faces right in front of his.”Well, there’s so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his nose, and give him a shake. “Peeta. Peeta, wake up,” I say in a soft, singsong voice.His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we’ve stabbed him. “Aa!”Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we look at Peeta’s attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets us off again.”