All Quotes By Tag: Humor
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
-
“No good deed goes unpunished.”
-
-
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
-
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.”
-
“Can you be a girl for a few seconds?””I’m always a girl” I frown.”You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl”I twirl my hair around my finger. “Kay.”
-
“Moths,” repeats Will. “You’re afraid of moths?” “Not just a cloud of moths,” she says, “like…a swarm of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and…” She shudders and shakes her head.”Terrifying,” Will says with mock seriousness. “That’s my girl. Tough as cotton balls.””Oh, Shut up.”
“We need to talk. All of us About what we’re going to do now.””I was going to watch Project Runway.”
-
“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
-
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,” he began, “especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?””They go to hell,” was my ready and orthodox answer.”And what is hell? Can you tell me that?””A pit full of fire.””And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?””No, sir.””What must you do to avoid it?”I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: “I must keep in good health and not die.”
-
“What’s up?” I asked.You tell me,” he said. “You were the one about ready to start making out with Adrian.”It was an experiment,” I said. “It was part of my therapy.”What the hell kind of therapy are you in?”
-
“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”
-
“It’s hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.”
“Can you surf really well, then?”I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.”Jeez, Nico,” I said. “I’ve never really tried.”He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn’t answer that one.) If Annabeth’s mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn’t Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”