All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“It’s not gray,” Clary felt compelled to point out. “It’s green.””If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you’d have died in childhood,” said Jace.”

“Must you go? I was rather hoping you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must.””I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.””None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the pillow.”How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared the experience to gazing at the radiance of the sun.”Jem still had his eyes closed. “If they mean it gives you a headache, they aren’t wrong.”

“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”

“Don’t feel bad, I’m usually about to die.”

“So when the moon’s only partly full, you only feel a little wolfy?” “You could say that.””Well, you can go ahead and hang your head out the car window if you feel like it.””I’m a werewolf, not a golden retriever.”

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

“Your friend’s poetry is terrible,” he said.Clary blinked, caught momentarily off guard. “What?””I said his poetry was terrible. It sounds like he ate a dictionary and started vomiting up words at random.”

“I’ll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from ‘almost extinct’ to ‘not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.’ Will that make you happy?”

“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”

“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.”

“It is a great thing to start life with a small number of really good books which are your very own.”

“The real story of the Fleece: there were these two children of Zeus, Cadmus and Europa, okay? They were about to get offered up as human sacrifices, when they prayed to Zeus to save them. So Zeus sent this magical flying ram with golden wool, which picked them up in Greece and carried them all the way to Colchis in Asia Minor. Well, actually it carried Cadmus. Europa fell off and died along the way, but that’s not important.””It was probably important to her.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”