All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

“You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?”

“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”

“The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.”

“Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”

“I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said.”It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called.She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”

“Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.”

“Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”

“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve – you’ve blown up a toilet or –””Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.””Great idea though, thanks, Mum.”

“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.”

“Out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Jace shoot her a look of white rage – but when she glanced at him, he looked as he always did: easy, confident, slightly bored.”In future, Clarissa,” he said, “it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in your bed, to avoid such tedious situations.””You invited him into bed?” Simon demanded, looking shaken.”Ridiculous, isn’t it?” said Jace. “We would never have all fit.””I didn’t invite him into bed,” Clary snapped. “We were just kissing.””Just kissing?” Jace’s tone mocked her with its false hurt. “How swiftly you dismiss our love.”

“Don’t Panic.”

“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

“Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.”