All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Oh well… I’d just been thinking, if you had died, you’d have been welcome to share my toilet.”

“Isabelle drifted over, Jace a pace behind her. She was wearing a long black dress with boots and an even longer cutaway coat of soft green velvet, the color of moss. “I can’t believe you did it!” she exclaimed. “How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?””Traded him for Alec,” Clary said.Isabelle looked mildly alarmed. “Not permanently?””No,” said Jace. “Just for a few hours. Unless I don’t come back,” he added thoughtfully. “In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy.”Isabelle looked dubious. “Mom and Dad won’t be pleased if they find out.””That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?” Simon inquired. “No, probably not.”

“The Guide says there is an art to flying”, said Ford, “or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

“Basically, I have two speeds…. Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

“How do you feel, Georgie?” whispered Mrs. Weasley.George’s fingers groped for the side of his head.”Saintlike,” he murmured.”What’s wrong with him?” croaked Fred, looking terrified. “Is his mind affected?””Saintlike,” repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. “You see…I’m HOLEY, Fred, geddit?”

“Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn’t make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie. (Jace Wayland)”

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

“Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.”

“Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.”

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

“I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

“Don’t talk to me.””Why not?””Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret…”

“Love conquers all,” Aphrodite promised. “Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?””Didn’t they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?””Pfft. That’s not the point. Follow your heart.”