All Quotes By Tag: Humour

“Humor is what happens when we’re told the truth quicker and more directly than we’re used to.”

“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

“It may not feel too classy, begging just to eat But you know who does that?Lassie, and she always gets a treat So you wonder what your part is Because you’re homeless and depressed But home is where the heart is So your real home’s in your chest Everyone’s a hero in their own way Everyone’s got villains they must face They’re not as cool as mine But folks you know it’s fine to know your place Everyone’s a hero in their own way In their own not-that-heroic way So I thank my girlfriend Penny Yeah, we totally had sex She showed me there’s so many different muscles I can flex There’s the deltoids of compassion, There’s the abs of being kind It’s not enough to bash in headsYou’ve got to bash in minds Everyone’s a hero in their own way Everyone’s got something they can do Get up go out and fly Especially that guy, he smells like poo Everyone’s a hero in their own way You and you and mostly me and you I’m poverty’s new sheriff And I’m bashing in the slums A hero doesn’t care if you’re a bunch of scary alcoholic bums Everybody! Everyone’s a hero in their own way Everyone can blaze a hero’s trail Don’t worry if it’s hard If you’re not a friggin ‘tard you will prevail Everyone’s a hero in their own way Everyone’s a hero in their…”

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

“A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.”

“I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.”

“I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.”

“Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk or something?” Minho asked, pulling Thomas’s attention away from Alby.”Go ahead,” Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. “Be careful,” he said dryly. “Don’t die.”

“FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.”

“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”

“Never knock on death’s door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. – T-shirt”

“I’m a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.”

“The human body is the best work of art.”

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,” he said. “Have you thought of going into teaching?”

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”