All Quotes By Tag: Humour

“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”

“Headline?” he asked.”‘Swing Set Needs Home,'” I said.”‘Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'” he said.”‘Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'” I said.”

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

“We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you’re the rule, not the exception. It’s liberating. But we also know it’s not an easy concept. -He’s not just into you”

“A man when he is making up to anybody can be cordial and gallant and full of little attentions and altogether charming. But when a man is really in love he can’t help looking like a sheep.”

“Smirking, he says, “Whatever spell you just tried to cast on me, it didn’t work, so I think you need to go back to Hogwarts.”

“Sometimes you know you’ve got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn’t so messed up, it wouldn’t be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn’t.”

“Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail…”

“I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”

“Whatever happened to the dragon?”I mustered my primmest tone. “He has a name, you know.”Adrian pulled back and gave me a curious look. “I didn’t know, actually. What’d you decide on?””Hopper.” When Adrian laughed, I added, “Best rabbit ever. He’d be proud to know his name is being passed on.””Yes, I’m sure he would. Did you name the Mustang too?””I think you mean the Ivashkinator.”He stared at me in wonder. “I told you I loved you, right?”Yes,” I assured him. “Many times.”

“I have written it before and am not ashamed to write it again. Without Wodehouse I am not sure that I would be a tenth of what I am today — whatever that may be. In my teenage years, his writings awoke me to the possibilities of language. His rhythms, tropes, tricks and mannerisms are deep within me.But more than that, he taught me something about good nature. It is enough to be benign, to be gentle, to be funny, to be kind.”

“Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don’t want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled.”

“I suppose it’s not a social norm, and not a manly thing to do — to feel, discuss feelings. So that’s what I’m giving the finger to. Social norms and stuff…what good are social norms, really? I think all they do is project a limited and harmful image of people. It thus impedes a broader social acceptance of what someone, or a group of people, might actually be like.”

“Maybe you could be mine / or maybe we’ll be entwined / aimless in this sexless foreplay.”

“Please, touch me, I pray.”