Quotes By Author: Woody Allen
“Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.”
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“If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing-up.”
“I can’t do anything to death, doctor’s orders.”
“It’s a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.”
“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
“If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”
“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
“Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in my bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.”
“There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?”
“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”
“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”
“Because it’s much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”
“If it turns out that there is a God…the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.”
“I hate reality but it’s still the best place to get a good steak.”