All Quotes By Tag: Humour

“…I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.’What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.’Employers sense in me a denial of their values.’ He rolled over onto his back. ‘They fear me. I suspect that they can see that I am forced to function in a century I loathe. This was true even when I worked for the New Orleans Public Library.”

“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, “If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.” Churchill’s response, “Ma’am if you were my wife I would drink it.”

“On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.”

“I don’t deserve a soul, yet I still have one. I know because it hurts.”

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.”

“I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.”

“Look!” said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, “Someone who cares!”

“I’m too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.”

“My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.”

“I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid I’ll never get a chance to live!”

“What ho!” I said.”What ho!” said Motty.”What ho! What ho!””What ho! What ho! What ho!”After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.”

“I’ve learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!”

“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”

“I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.”