All Quotes By Tag: Funny-quotes
“It’s probably not easy for a woman to understand what it’s like to be a man. Imagine you’re starving, and someone puts a huge buffet in front of you. There’s delicious, mouth-watering food all around you, and it’s really really hard not to eat it all. That’s what it’s like to be a man around attractive women. The urge to want to hump everything that moves is part of a man’s natural programming. It’s a deep-seated hunger. To suppress that hunger takes civilization and a lot of willpower.”
-
“Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.”
“Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.”
“GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace.”
-
“All humans are rogues. Cured only by death.”
“Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they’re God. Well, if they are, I’m their grand-pop.”
“If you never wished you were an ass, you are most probably an ass.”
-
“Humans for most part are boorish, boastful, and beasts. They’re pretentious, piss-full, pussy-led and penis-full as their priests.”
“I’ve got the word of an eight-year-old girl, an old fairytale I used to know, and a shred of faith… It’s not pixie dust, but I’d like to think it’s enough.”
-
“Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.’Die, bastards.’She sighed. It wasn’t their fault that they were bastards who should die.”
-
“All of life is a continuous state of wonder interrupted by bedtime and light snacks.”
-
“Oh, come on. Since when have the Fates granted anyone anything when they are stressing out about it?”
-
“Love is relentless, and so am I ;)”
-
“Writers don’t get mad they get even in their novels.”
-
“Most people will do the right thing; if they can afford too.”