Quotes By Author: deb caletti
“A relationship could be a place to hide too.”
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“So I put up with bad behavior in the name of loving the way I thought you were supposed to love.”
“Too often in my life, love has been defined as “humiliation with occasional roses”.”
“People can attach themselves to something–an idea, another person, a desire–with an impossibly strong grip, and in the case of restless ghosts, a grip stronger than death. Will is a powerful thing. Will–it’s supposed to be a good treat, a more determined and persistent version of determination and persistence. But will and obsession–they sit right next to each other. They pretend to be strangers and all the while meet secretly at midnight.” -”
“A person shows signs of clutching on too fast, of being needy, of not hearing the word “no,” of jealousy, of guarding you and your freedom. But the signs can be so small they skitter right past you. Sometimes they dance past, looking satiny, something you should applaud. Someone’s jealousy can make you feel good. Special. But it’s not even about you. It’s about a hand that is already gripping. It’s about their need, circling around your throat”
“We look down our noses at people who’ve made mistakes in relationships. She’s so stupid! How could she do that! Our superiority makes us feel better. But I’d bet everything I have on the fact that people to claim to have a perfect record in love are either lying or have very limited dating experience. People who say, I’d never do that! Someday, unless you are very, very lucky, you’ll have a story to tell. Or not to tell.”
“I’ve heard that people stand in bad situations because a relationship like that gets turned up by degrees. It is said that a frog will jump out of a pot of boiling water. Place him in a pot and turn it up a little at a time, and he will stay until he is boiled to death. Us frogs understand this.”
“There, I was hit again with a feeling I’d had rather frequently as of late. Deep in the night, or even in broad daylight, a sense of the transitory would abruptly arise, shocking me, slapping my clueless self with the truth of my own age and how much time had already passed, and so suddenly too, it seemed. It would hit hard. And it made me want to keep hold of everything and to toss it away. How could you even talk about that? What were the words for it? I just didn’t know where it all went and how it went that fast. What we lost over a lifetime seemed so great.”
“Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always.”
“Maybe it was wrong, or maybe impossible, but I wanted the truth to be one thing. One solid thing.”
“I had always had a little problem looking out for myself in love. I was afraid people would leave me. So I sort of clung and did everything possible to keep someone around. I didn’t have a hard talk with myself about who I was keeping around. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. I clung to people like human life preservers. I thought i’d die if someone left me. Its ironic because now I’m the one who’s leaving.”
“This is what I know. Don’t settle for 40, 50, or even 80 percent. A relationship-it shouldn’t be too small or too tight or even a little scratchy. It shouldn’t take up space in your closet out of guilty conscience or convenience or a moment of desire. Do you hear me? It shold be perfect for you. It should be lasting. Wait. wait for 100 percent.”