Quotes By Author: Terry Pratchett

“Other people say: hold on, if he’s carrying the entire universe in a sack, right, that means he’s carrying himself and the sack inside the sack, because the universe contains everything. Including him. And the sack, of course. Which contains him and the sack already. As it were.To which the reply is: well?”

“I just rearrange words into a pleasing order for money.”

“Susan’s gotta poker, you know,” it said, as if anxious to be helpful. WELL, WELL. INDEED. MY GOODNESS ME.”I fort-thought all of you knew that now. Larst-last week she picked up a bogey by its nose.”Death tried to imagine this. He felt sure he’d heard the sentence wrong, but it didn’t sound a whole lot better however he rearranged the words.”

“IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.”

“I read anything that’s going to be interesting. But you don’t know what it is until you’ve read it. Somewhere in a book on the history of false teeth there’ll be the making of a novel.”

“[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they’re writing it!”

“First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft.”

“If words had weight, a single sentence from Death would have anchored a ship.”

“Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.”

“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”

“Anyone with half a mind could see that,” said Tiffany.Miss Tick sighed. “Yes. But sometimes it’s so hard to find half a mind when you need one.”

“The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”

“He had about the same life expectancy as a three legged hedgehog on a six lane motorway.”

“My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.”

“Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it.”