All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.”

“We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.”

“What, you didn’t pack your lunch?” Ty asked sarcastically as he shifted around in the seat and wedged himself against the door. He kicked a foot up and propped it on the console between the two front seats. “Sure, in my SpongeBob SquarePants lunch box. I have the thermos, too,” Morrison shot right back. Zane kept his mouth shut, eyes moving between the two men, and occasionally back to the driver, who was casually paying attention. Ty stared at the kid and narrowed his eyes further. “Spongewhat?” he asked flatly. Zane didn’t even try to hold back the chuckle when Morrison looked at Ty like he’d lost his mind. “Spongewha … you’re yanking my chain, aren’t you?” Morrison said. “Henny, he’s yanking my chain.” “Yeah, well, that’s what you getting for waving it in his face,” the driver answered reasonably. “What the hell is a SpongeBob?” Ty asked Zane quietly in the backseat.”

“Of course, now I had the problem of communicating what I needed. Marlen was still beating on the door, and Dimitri would be up in a couple of minutes. I glared at the human, hoping I looked terrifying. From his expression, I did. I attempted the caveman talk I had with Inna…only this time the message was a little harder. “Stick,” I said in Russian. I had no clue what the word for stake was. I pointed at the silver ring I wore and made a slashing motion. “Stick. Where?” He stared at me in utter confusion and then asked, in perfect English, “Why are you talking like that?” “Oh for God’s sake,” I exclaimed. “Where is the vault?” “Vault?” “A place they keep weapons?” He continued staring. “Oh,” he said. “That.” Uneasily, he cast his eyes in the direction of the pounding.”

“You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The lastpresent you gave me was a stick.”“You wanted a weapon.”“It was a stick.”“It had a bow on it.”“It was a stick.”“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.”

“It was one thing to snuggle a little when the world seemed about to end, and quite another to explain to her parents that she wanted to date an ancient magical horse.”

“I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.-Calvin”

“So let me get this straight. You were living in a tent in the woods, but now you’re living with Prince Charming and anger management boy? SERIOUSLY?!”

“When you choose a man who thinks eight seconds is a long time, perhaps you need two of them. Hmm?”

“Yes you’re getting your tattoo.” I threw my arms around Dad’s neck. “Thank you!” “Hey,” Mom said. “I’m the one who had to persuade him it wasn’t turning his little girl into a streetwalker.” “I never said that,” Dad said. “No?” I said. “Cool. Cause I’ve decided to skip the paw print. I’m thinking of a tramp stamp with flames that says ‘Hot in Here.’ No wait. Arrows. For directionally challenged guys”

“We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”

“Nobody comes here anymore, its too crowded”

“You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.”“Yeah,” said Harry, “but you, unlike me, are a git.”

“You just noticed? You’re slow…”

“Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?”