All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?”

“I’m sorry I hurt your hand…with my face.”-Bobby Pendragon”

“Church was doing what he often did when dropped – lying on his back with all four legs in the air, pretending to be dead in order to induce guilt in his owners.”

“Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.”

“If those at your top are weak, your bottom will be rotten”

“Giving is the only way of taking part”

“With a philosophy education, one can infuriate his peers, intimidate his date, think of obscure, unreliable ways to make money, and never regret a thing.”

“Sometimes the only way to succeed is to fail backwards”

“Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!!”

“Casey doesn’t trust him.””Casey doesn’t trust anyone,” I replied. “He’s paranoid like that. I mean, come on, he’s a werewolf who installed a nanny cam in his kids’ room.” I pointed my spoon at Ali for emphasis. “A nanny cam.”

“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. ”

“Emilio appeared with wine before Cal could say anything, and Min beamed at him, grateful for the rescue. “Emilio, my darling. I forgot to mention cake boxes. Two hundred cake boxes.””Already on it,” Emilio said. “Nonna said you’d need them. She said to get four-inch-square boxes for three-inch-square cakes.””I’m getting the boxes,” Min said, nodding. “Sure. Great. Fine. Your grandmother is an angel and you are my hero. And of course, a genius with food.””And you are my favorite customer.” Emilio kissed her cheek and disappeared back into the kitchen.”I love him,” she told Cal.”I noticed,” Cal said. “Been seeing him behind my back, have you?””Yes,” Min said. “We’ve been having conversations about cake.””Whoa,” Cal said. “For you, that’s talking dirty.”

“Shane, in case we don’t … don’t come out of this, I wanted to say…”He glanced over at her, and she felt her whole body warm from it. She remembered that look. It made her feel naked inside and out, but not in a creepy kind of way. In a way that felt…. Free. “If what you say is true, and I guess it has to be, I think I know why we’re … together,” he said. “I think I’d fall for you no matter what, Claire. You’re kind of awesome.”

“Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with is”Sure” said Magnus. “And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour”

“I’m not really sure what makes a book a ‘classic’ to begin with, but I think it has to be at least fifty years old and some person or animal has to die at the end.”