All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, ‘Cheer up, things could be worse.’ And sure enough, they get worse.”

“A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they’re the ones who helped you put them there.”And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, they help you dig them back up.”

“Someday is not a day of the week.”

“Paris answered for him. “Last time he spread the flashing love, Reyes threw up all over his shirt. I never laughed so hard in my life. Lucien, though, has no sense of humor and vowed never to take us again.””I’m surprised you didn’t mention the part where you fainted,” Lucien said wryly.Strider chortled. “Oh, man. You fainted? What a baby!””Hey,” Paris said, frowning at Lucien. “I told you I hit my head midflash.”Lucien”

“I can’t abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!”

“She’s so small, yet she contains so much evil.”

“There’s a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.”

“Well”, Fang said, mimicking a thick Southern drawl. “I must say its mighty nice of them Daimons to clean up after themselves when you kill them” He held his hands up to them. “Look Ma, no mess.””Does Fang have an off switch?” Talon asked Vane.”

“Claim whatever you want. Say you only want a happy family or a successful career or a big house. I say: no, that’s not what you want. You’ll settle for those things, but you really want a monkey that does your evil bidding. Pullman is a genius just for this.”

“Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it’s a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it’s made up of people, every faith also has its assholes.”

“I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker’s dozens! …they come in thirteens.”

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”

“Before I speak, I have something important to say.”

“The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.”

“Tacos.””Tacos?” I echoed.This seemed to amuse him. “Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese.””I know what a taco is!”