All Quotes By Tag: Humor

“Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha!”

“Housework can kill you if done right.”

“I was supposed to write a romantic comedy, but my characters broke up.”

“Kat laughed. ‘Who wants to live forever?’Kish put his hand up. ‘For the record, I do.’Sin scowled at him. ‘Then why do you irritate me so often?’Suicidal tendencies are inherent in my species?”

“Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was.”Is there any tea on this spaceship?” he asked.”

“Sometimes I think I must have a Guardian Idiot. A little invisible spirit just behind my shoulder, looking out for me…only he’s an imbecile.”

“He looked back at her, and when she saw the look on his face, she saw his eyes at Renwick’s, when he had watched the Portal that separated him from his home shatter into a thousand irretrievable pieces. He held her gaze for a split second, then looked away from her, the muscles in his throat working. ”

“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. ”

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.”

“But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.”

“I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response: Okay. I won’t kiss you on your neck again.So typical of him. No! You can’t ever kiss me ANYWHERE. You said you were going to keep your distance.I’m trying, he wrote back. But you won’t keep your distance from me.I didn’t dignify that with a response.”

“Basically, everyone thinks–knows–how sweet I am.Emma, you threw my sister through hurricane-proof glass.”

“You show me a lazy prick who’s lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I’ll show you a guy who’s not causing any trouble.”

“So.” [Isobel] cleared her throat. “What are we doing?””We,” [Varen] said at last, “are doing a project on Poe.””Didn’t he marry his cousin or something?””The man is a literary god and that’s all you have to say?”

“Yes! I’m me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don’t understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That’s the kind of person I am!”